Before I tell you a tale of inner conflict, I want those around me to know, not just gay Sikhs but to all Desi queers that sit in the western world we exist, we are valid, we deserve love and respect, we aren’t here to please others, in fact some of us just want to live in peace. However when it comes to my own journey, it was rather a simple one, that involved self denial and ignoring my sexual side, and denying any attraction to anyone, purely for my own sanity. Growing up I was always seen as a coconut, in fact I knew that gay people existed but in a western context, and that in the desi world it’s forbidden. Although I’m not religious I do my best to live a life that is moral in all respects. So at 16 I accepted my own sexuality however there was no inner turmoil or conflict in fact my brain was too busy wrapped up in other issues, my conflict stemmed from being a minority within a minority, I never saw being gay as wrong just unable to digest the societal racism or my fetishisation due to my race, to be honest I was never bothered by it, although my family is homophobic, and my mental health has declined over the issue, I won’t ever stop fighting. For my fellow desi queerd and equality overall. We have a collective responsibility, I shall fulfil mine as I see fit, as shall we all.
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